I am in a word weary right now. It is defined as exhausted in strength, endurance, vigor or freshness and I feel all of those things. I have been sick for over a week now and on antibiotics but still not feeling physically 100%. Also still struggling with being back at work, where I need to be financially, but where my heart is totally not . And having to work through some hard decisions with extended family, it just makes me want to scream, cry, throw my fists in the air, but to what end that does that bring. None, really. Sure for a few minutes I feel an emotional release but it is short lived and best and leaves me asking why life seems so unfair at times. It seems so trivial in light of all that is happening in the world. All the suffering and tragedy, so many wondering where the next bite of food will come from and sleeping in the street, scared for the next after shock. But I guess we all have our quakes of sorts to work though in our lives.
Two passages come to mind:
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
But this too shall pass right? I need to concentrate on what I can do, what I can move on now and rely on the ONE who has brought me here, brought me this far, given me an amazing husband and 3 incredible children, loving friends and family, and talents to share with others. Frankly just thankful for a home, food, a bathroom and the basic needs I need to live, so many in the world don’t even have that today. Praying for the people of Haiti, for the families that were/are in the adoption process and now in limbo, praying for the newly orphaned children in that country. If anyone deserves to say they are weary it is most definitely not me, right?