Friday, October 30, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
It is very normal for everyone to comment on how much Ainsley looks like Ethan. And it is true she is a spitting image of him at the same age. I will try to post a couple of pics later so all my bloggy friends can see what I mean. But as we all sit around admiring their likeness and whether or not Ainsley has my eyes or Daddy's nose, I worry about Charlotte. So I often add that Charlotte is my only child that has mommy's brown eyes (Ainsley and Ethan have their Daddy's blue eyes.) And right now it works, she gives me a big smile and her heart is full knowing she is "like" mommy. But what will happen in the future as people comment on Ethan and Ainsley's likeness, and Charlotte will not have that same thing happen for her. I have to come up with some more things that are the same about all three of my children I guess. It just worries me a little, I know we will figure it out and I know Charlotte will "get used to it." But mommies think about these things you know.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
So this has been one of those weeks where I have had lots running through my head. And writing it down helps me work it all out. Anyway, here goes....
So having Ainsley has been such a tremendous blessing to all of us. I never thought in my wildest dreams that we would have an infant in our house again. It really helps me to cherish every single second with her. It also makes me sad for our Charlotte. It makes me think about where she was when she was Ainsley's size. How her cries, most likely went unanswered most times. How she did not have a mommy, daddy, brother and sister to love on her, and give sweet kisses and hugs. It hurts my heart so much. It also makes me think about Charlotte's birth mother, and the pain she must have felt giving her up and that she probably still feels. I can't even imagine losing Ainsley at such a young age. But at the same time, I rejoice in the fact that we are the lucky ones. Lucky enough to have Charlotte, to be able to meet all of her needs now. To see the absolute love in her eyes for her new baby sister. She is just smitten with her. It is amazing and truly a miracle.
And secondly, can you guys pray for me. I am already struggling with going back to work. I know I still have 2 months at home, but it is already weighing on me. I just don't want to miss anything. I don't want to miss a second with our sweet girl, or Charlotte and Ethan. It flies by so quickly and I know they will be leaving us before we know it. My one good babysitting lead, is probably not going to pan out, so that is stressing me as well. It just feels so weird to call someone you don't know to babysit your 3 month old. I am really struggling with this. So pray for us, for guidance and for acceptance about whatever the best decision is for our family. Even if it is a decision that I might now be that "thrilled" about.
And last, I am looking forward to meeting some of my bloggy friends at the AWAA Reunion this weekend. If you are going to be there, please leave me a comment so I will know to look for you!
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009