Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Many of you that have read our blog for a while, know that Jay and I started the process to go back to China and adopt again before we knew about Ainsley. And, even after we found out that I was pregnant we continued the process and were actually LID on 9/1/2009. We knew we wanted time to pray, live life as a family of 5 and pray some more to see where God was leading our family. This has not been an easy decision by any means. We have gone back and forth so many times. Sometimes me, sometimes Jay, sometimes both of us. We both have such a heart for orphans, and have love to give. We were actually in the middle of our home study update to update our I800 when we had to make a very difficult decision. We knew God was showing us that the time was now to decide for sure if we were going back to China. And for many reasons that I won't go into publically we have decided that for now our family is complete. God showed us that we needed to get some other things in order before we are ready to bring home another baby. Not saying it won't happen in the future, we will go where God leads but right now He wants us to focus on the 3 we have at home and on getting ourselves in order. This has been the toughest decision we have made in our marriage. It has been even tougher than deciding to go to China the first time, but since we contacted our agency and made everything final I have felt at peace with the decision. I know God, has placed the world's orphans on my heart in a mighty way. And we will continue to advocate and fight for all those left behind, that will not change. And I think I will always feel like I left a little bit of my heart in China with those still longing for the love of a mommy and daddy. But we have a very special little girl with us now, that needs all of the love and attention we can give her. We are going to do just that. We are going to pray for the 143 million orphans still waiting and we are going to get our family in line with God. We are going to go where He leads, and are excited for what the future may hold.